How to Become an Emigrant
Live where barrel bombs destroy your home, kill your parents, wife

Hear rumors that the army suspects you don’t obey their kill orders

Pay the smuggler your black market $2,000 to get to Greece

Acquire a small backpack–in it put

one extra shirt, one pair of pants
plastic bag to keep them dry
waterproof box for bandages, cigarettes, matches,
birth certificate, army papers
3 lemons to prevent dehydration
box of dates–2 per day for 10 days
painkillers in case your back goes out again
life jacket for when your boat gets rammed or sinks
sunscreen for days you spend bobbing in the sea
a laser pointer–your boat travels at night; if it sinks
rescuers may find you by its light

Pray